Sunday, May 01, 2005

A very weird pick-up line, and other strange stories

Maybe I’m over-analyzing it. Maybe if I were on the receiving end of more pick-up lines this one wouldn’t have seemed so strange.

It happened after swim practice on Saturday. I had gotten out of the pool and was standing on the deck, chatting with one of the straight guys on the swim team.

Him: "So we’re going to the Buffalo Club tomorrow night."
Me: "The Buffalo Club?"
Him: "Yeah. They have a mechanical bull and some of the girls get really drunk and ride it topless. You should come."
Me: "Um…no."
Him: "Meet me there at 10."
Me: "Um…no!"

And then he just walked away. My friend Annelle who had overheard the whole thing told me he was being serious. "He talks about that mechanical bull all the time. I think he goes every weekend."

Okay, but why would he think I’d want to go? Maybe it’s a cultural thing. Maybe in the hard-drinking, male-dominated, eastern European country he comes from that invitation would be considered a broad romantic gesture. I don’t know.

I feel like I need to make excuses for him because I can’t handle the thought that the 30-something dating pool is filled with guys like him. Please tell me this is not normal!

It gets weirder…

So I’m sitting on the couch, reading the weekend papers when I come across a bizarre story about a new bra that makes you look like you’ve had implants.

Actually, it wasn’t so much the story that puzzled me but the fact that it was a Vancouver Sun editorial. For some reason, the editorial board deemed the story important enough to take an official stand on it. Even weirder was the fact that they didn’t try to make the story funny. Its earnestness is what makes it truly strange.

The editorial explains this new bra gives you "a naturally cosmetically enhanced look." It even goes on to eloquently argue that the bra is "just the ticket for those who want the rack without the risk." It explains surgery is expensive and the bra is a cheaper alternative. And it ends with the following sentence: "We support the bra -- no pun intended."

Weird.

6 comments:

K said...

1. This is not normal.

2. Maybe he hopes that you're one of "the girls [who] get really drunk and ride it topless."

3. There may be a cultural divide but you don't need to make excuses for him. I'm sure he said exactly what he meant to say.

4. I'm not subscribing to the Sun just to read the article, but based on your description I have one question:

Is CanWest now accepting unlabeled advertorial?

Sarah said...

Yes, K, not normal for you, a normal 30-something guy! But I'm finding it hard to meet quality guys in this city.

As for the Sun editorial, I think what made it so funny was the fact that it wasn't trying to be funny! It pretty much reads exactly like an advertorial. Now that's an editorial board meeting I'd like to have sat in on.

Sarah

Kathryn said...

you mean being asked to go to a red neck bar where there is the expectation that you will get drunk, take your shirt off and ride a dangerous piece of machinery isn't appealing to you? no wonder you're still single!! =)

Kathryn

Sarah said...

I guess I'm just too picky :)

What I really want to know is, since when did finding someone who is smart, funny, stable, interesting and attractive (to me) become the "high standard" and not the norm?

Sarah

Kathryn said...

if you get an answer to that, please let me know

p.s. you forgot "viably employed" in your list of criterion

Kathryn

Carrie said...

lol

Have you heard this one -
"do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk past you again?"

God, when I heard that I thought it was the worst. Made me laugh though so that's something :-)

So glad you said no to the Mechanical Bull guy. Apparently he feels just bullying women will make them do his bidding. Creepy!