Monday, January 10, 2005
Tired of the "boring urban white girl" look
Me circa 2004 with the same hairstyle I've had for about 10 years, give or take a few inches.
I realize I’m venturing into Leah McLaren territory by writing about my hair, but at least I’m not getting paid big bucks (or any bucks for that matter) to do so.
Anyway, about my hair. I have dark brown hair that is naturally bizarre. I am convinced it got that way because of a mutated gene. The gene that is supposed to determine whether one’s hair is straight or curly or wavy gave me all three types instead. I have a head of hair that is straight underneath, curly in the back and wavy everywhere else.
And because I’m female, I automatically want the kind of hair that is the exact opposite of the hair I was born with. So I have been trying to shampoo, condition, brush, blow-dry and straighten my hair into the look known as “boring urban white girl” since high school.
About two weeks ago, I decided to throw in the towel. I’m tired of fighting my hair. Screw it. I’m letting it do whatever it wants to do. Which is probably why everyone keeps asking me if I’ve gotten a perm (the answer, by the way, is “no”).
It all started with a mind-blowing article in Cosmo over Christmas. Honestly, I don’t normally read that crap. But I found my 17-year-old sister’s stash of back issues under her bed while hunting for something to wear. So I went on a little Cosmo binge when I was in Toronto. I couldn’t help it. It’s more addictive than crack.
It’s also wrong on so many levels that Hilary is reading a magazine plastered with headlines like, “Ten tips on how to give him the blow-job that will blow his mind” and “Quiz: Are you the office slut?”
Anyway, the Cosmo article that blew my mind was on how to style curly hair. It suggested washing your hair, patting it dry and then scrunching it with your fingers and letting it air dry. The key was to not brush it, wet or dry. So I tried it. To my amazement, it actually worked. I had a head of cascading waves for the first time in my life.
It turns out that brushing your hair is what unkinks the curl and causes the massive, frizzy puffball. Who knew? Obviously, I didn’t. Here’s another tip: expect share prices in the hairbrush industry to fall dramatically following this revelation – sell now!
Even though I like my new low-maintenance routine, I still think I look better with straight hair. But I’ll stop talking about it. I swear this is the first and last time I will write about my hair. From now on, I promise to leave the inane hair commentary to the pros in the Globe and Mail’s style section.