Monday, February 20, 2006

The man version of 'My Humps'

It's not very often that a pop culture reference flies right over my head. But I heard a song on the radio this weekend that left me baffled.

The song in question is called 'Grillz' and it's sung by Nelly. The chorus, which features back-and-forth banter between a woman and a man, goes like this:

Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
Let me see ya grill
(Let me see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill
(Rob da jewelry store and tell em make me a grill)
Smile fo me daddy
(What you lookin at)
I want to see your grill
(You wanna see my what)
Ya, ya grill ya, ya, ya grill

So, I’m listening to this, thinking, "Hmmm. What's a grill? This woman is obviously very interested in seeing it. It must be some sort of newfangled gangsta euphemism for his cock." Then I started thinking, "I wonder why he's calling it a grill? Is it because rappers like big cars and a big dick is like a big grill on a big car?"

I decided to ask my boss since he fancies himself to be something of a pop culture expert (even though he's really not):

Me: Hey. Have you heard that new Nelly song 'Grillz'?

Him: Yeah.

Me: What's a grill?

Him: Uh. It's a removable teeth covering. It's like a retainer but it's all gold-plated and covered with diamonds and studs. It's a gangster thing.

Me: Oh. I thought he was singing about his cock.

Him: What?

Me: You know, like that song 'My Humps' which is all about her breasts and her ass but she calls them humps and lumps because obviously you can't sing “My ass, my ass, my lovely lady ass.” So I thought 'Grillz' was sort of a man version of that song.

Him: Get out of my office. I’m busy.

Our brief conversation only raised more questions than it answered. Why would someone want gold teeth? Are there women who actually find this attractive? And what would inspire someone to write a song about cosmetic dental devices anyway?

So I decided to look up the lyrics:

My teeth gleaming like im chewin on aluminum foil
Smilein showin off my diamonds sippin on some potin oil
I put my money where my mouth is and bought a grill
20 carrots 30 stacks let em know im so fo real
My motivation is from 30 pointers V VS the furniture my mouth
piece simply symbolize success
I got da wrist wear and neck wear dats captivatin
But its my smile dats got these on-lookers spectatin
My mouth piece simply certified a total package
Open up my mouth and you see mo carrots than a salad
My teeth are mind blowin givin everybody chillz

Okay. I get it now. A mouth full of bling is to show people that you're rich. I especially like the line "Open up my mouth and you see mo carrots than a salad." I think that's supposed to turn the ladies on but all it does is make me visualize a big wad of chewed up carrots and lettuce inside Nelly's mouth.

I liked the song better when I thought it was about man humps.

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