Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Twelve hours of projectile vomiting

What’s more explosive than the sponsorship scandal? Me!

I have finally chewed, swallowed and kept down my first bite of solid food in more than 36 hours. It feels good to be back in the land of the living after a day spent violently expulsing the contents of my stomach.

It all began around noon yesterday when my mouth suddenly filled with saliva and I felt an irrepressible urge to vomit. Realizing I might not make it to the bathroom in time, I grabbed the recycling bin by my desk and ran like hell.

My boss, who overheard me loudly vomiting in the office washroom, sent me home immediately. I felt a bit like a 1st grader who had peed her pants.

Once home, I spent the next 12 hours alternating between vomiting and wishing I were dead. Nothing, not even water, would stay down. I finally stopped puking around midnight. I finally stopped feeling queasy around 5 p.m. today.

It all happened so fast that I’m not even sure what it was. However, I have a few theories:

1. A virus: I may have picked something up whilst playing on the waterslides and in the wave pool in Nanaimo over the weekend. When in doubt, blame the kids.

2. Food poisoning: Possibly from White Spot on Sunday afternoon. My friend John was also sick yesterday, though the other three people who ate with us were not sick.

3. Self-inflicted food poisoning: Possibly from the leftover beef curry I defrosted on the kitchen counter for about six hours on Monday.

Whatever it was, it doesn’t matter. I feel like I have been to hell and back. But I also feel strangely grateful for the experience. It’s a powerful reminder of just how thin the line between sickness and health really is. I had forgotten how good it feels to feel good.


Bill Doskoch said...

Not many people could find something positive out of a 12-hour vomiting binge.

But you did!! It's an inspiration to us all!! :)

Definitely sounds like food poisoning, but probably option 3. Food poisoning usually hits within hours of ingesting the tainted chow.

But see if you ate the same thing as your buddy John and then tell the local public health authority responsible for that White Spot.

My most memorable vomiting was in university, when I came down with some bug and started woofing.

I took a cab home. On the way, I felt the express elevator coming up. I screamed at the cabbie to pull over. He did. In front of a bus stop full of people.

I whipped the door open, did my business, closed the door, and we sped off.

I always wondered what the people at the bus stop talked about over dinner that night.

Bill D.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sarah,

I visited last night looking for lighthearted distraction after 12 hours of paper-writing, and this is what I got! Forced me to go into town to watch a movie for my distraction (and, just in case you were thinking about it, give The Upside of Anger a miss; it had some good moments, but as C. put it, that's like saying there was an upside to awful.)

But both your description and the movie made school seem not so bad in comparison, so I guess I got what I wanted.

Sorry to hear you were so sick. Glad to see you're also listening to Arcade Fire - what a great album!

Anyhow, gotta go back to work. Please write something funny again; people like me depend on the dose of humour you give :)


Sarah said...

Uh...think I spoke too soon. I'm feeling nauseous again...may have to go home and vomit some more. Not good.

Bill...I take back anything positive I said about the experience. This sucks.

Delacey...sorry you didn't see the humour in my 12-hour vomit marathon. Will think of something funny to write over the weekend once I feel better :)


Bill Doskoch said...

Yikes. :(

You might want to check in with your doctor as a precautionary measure.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

PS: The pumpkin picture was a nice touch. :)

Sarah said...

Update...we have contacted both the White Spot and the local health authority and have been informed that it was an outbreak of the Norwalk virus. A whole bunch of other people that ate there on Sunday got sick too.

I'm feeling much better (physically), though grossed out from googling "norwalk virus" and finding out how it spreads (through eating feces...oh god, here comes the vomit).


Callie said...

Brutal! I hate being sick, it's the sitting around that gets me. I imagine sitting around in front of the porcelain goddess would be even worse. Hope you feel better soon!

Kathryn said...

Bad timing for the Norwalk to visit, what with George in town and all ...

Seriously, though, hope your tummy gets better soon


Bill Doskoch said...

Since it's been a few days now, it's time to put your stomach to the test, see how healthy it really is.

I recommend going to the nearest industrial area, finding a truckstop diner and have a "trucker's special" breakfast.

Just think about it: Huge mounds of greasy fried potatoes glistening under the fluorescent lights; eggs almost floating in the oily residue from the potatoes, toast that squirts geysers of margarine when you squeeze it; sausages and bacon (let's think for a moment about how sausage is made).

If you can hold that down, you're cured! :)

(Apologies in advance if you're still so sick the above holds no amusement value whatsover -- or if you're completely healthy and the above holds no amusement value whatsoever).

Sarah said...

So not funny :( But amusing, all the same!

I am about 80 per cent better. But still not 100 per cent, which is really frustrating as I hate being sick.


Bill Doskoch said...

The netherworld between sickness and health is a frustrating place to be. :)