Gone fishing

Most people use the expression "gone fishing" to let people know they're on vacation, even when their vacation involves no fishing whatsoever.

Not me! I'm on vacation and I'm going fishing. Or, more accurately, I'm going to attempt to go fishing.

I'm heading out on a 10-day canoe trip through the Bowron lakes chain in northern B.C. It should be a fun trip, especially considering:

1. I can't remember the last time I paddled a canoe.

2. I lack this thing scientists call "upper body strength."

3. I suffer from extreme seasickness.

4. I haven't gone fishing since I was a teenager (and by "fishing" I mean "casting the line, hooking a fish, reeling it in and then handing the rod over to my dad because I am way too squeamish to touch a slimy, flopping, gasping fish.")

My goal for the trip is to catch a fish, clean it and cook it all by myself. I have no idea how to do this. I don't even own a fishing rod. Does clubbing a fish over the head with a canoe paddle count as fishing?

I also have no idea what to do with the fish after I've caught it. Although, I think I may have dissected a fish in high school biology class (or was it a fetal pig?).

But how hard can it be? I mean, cavemen were cleaning and cooking fish millions of years ago and they weren't the brightest people on the planet. Surely, I'm smarter than a caveman.

Maybe I can just hack some chunks out of the raw fish and call it sushi.

Speaking of sushi, regular readers of this blog may remember my Japanese friend Sachi. We played on the same volleyball team, went on a bunch of epic bike rides and generally just hung out all the time when I was living in Japan.

She's coming to Vancouver to visit me on the same day I get back from the canoeing trip. I'm taking the week off work to play tourist with her. I just hope I'm not too malnourished from the lack of fish.

Anyway, sitting in front of the computer is cutting into my vacation time so I'm going to end this post right here. Blogging will resume in about three weeks. Until then . . .