Sunday, February 17, 2008

Adventures in online dating

I have a confession to make. I frequently cruise the "men seeking women" ads on craigslist. I have no intention of replying to any of the ads. It's strictly voyeuristic.

I do it because it makes me feel better about being single. It's proof that there are no decent single guys in Vancouver. And, secure in that knowledge, I can hole myself up in my apartment without feeling guilty about not putting myself out there.

First of all, half of the guys on craigslist are looking for Asian women (What's that all about? Aren't Asian women creeped out by white dudes who only want to date them because they're Asian? And what kind of guy only dates Asian women anyway?).

Second of all, almost all of the guys on craigslist are looking for women five to 10 years younger than they are. I don't get it. Why do they automatically rule out girls their own age or a little older? Why do women have no problem dating someone 10 years older but there are rarely any guys willing to do the same? What's that all about?

Of all the ads on craigslist, there is only one that intrigues me (emphasis is mine):

I am a 25 year old male looking for a dominant female in need of a boytoy. I am 6’1 195 lbs very fit and attractive. I want to have no control and be at the will of a dominant female. As your boytoy my services could include full sexual slavery or no sex at all. I could just be used for cooking cleaning and massaging ect. I am very clean and dont do drugs. I have always fantacized about this but never tried

What intrigues me about this ad is that I have a very similar fantasy. I have always fantasized about being free from domestic drudgery. I get absolutely no pleasure from grocery shopping, cleaning the bathroom, washing the dishes, doing laundry and sweeping the kitchen floor. I hate housework.

And now, here's this guy offering his services for free. Absolutely no strings attached. I wonder how this would work? Could I just give him my keys and tell him to clean my apartment and have dinner waiting for me by the time I get home from work?

Or would I have to supervise him and whip him and say things like, "Scrub the floor harder, you dirty boy!" And then he would whimper, "Yes, mistress." Because that would be weird.

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