Cucumber Pepsi anyone?

I finally got my hands on a bottle of Pepsi Ice Cucumber, which is being marketed as the cool new summer drink here in Japan.

But don’t let the label fool you. Cucumber Pepsi is actually 100 per cent cucumber-free. According to one news report, it has been “artificially flavoured to resemble the ‘refreshing taste of a fresh cucumber.’”

Apparently, it has also been artificially coloured to resemble the refreshing look of mouthwash. Or antifreeze.

Still, I was intrigued. I like Pepsi and I like cucumbers. How bad could it be? I decided to take the Cucumber Pepsi Challenge and find out. Here’s my sip-by-sip report:

First sip: Ahhh . . . cold liquid. Refreshing!

Second sip: Hey! This actually kind of tastes like cucumber. Or melon. Or something. Not bad!

Third sip: No, wait. It tastes like watered-down Pepsi.

Fourth sip: What? This doesn’t taste like Pepsi or cucumbers at all.

Fifth sip: It tastes . . . toxic.

Sixth sip: Oh my god. This is disgusting.

Seventh sip: I think I’m going to be sick.

Unfortunately, the taste test came to an abrupt end at this point because I poured the rest of the bottle down the sink. Cucumber Pepsi is the most vile thing I’ve tried since the Tim Hortons pink smoothie.

What’s next? Broccoli Coke? Spinach Sprite?

I have a feeling Cucumber Pepsi is one Japanese fad that won’t be sweeping the world any time soon.