Ben Mulroney: Call me

Why can’t Canada come up with a decent reality TV show? American networks have the Bachelor, the Apprentice, America’s Next Top Model and the Amazing Race. And the best we can come up with is “Making the Cut?”

Making the Cut is a CBC reality show about a bunch of wannabe hockey players trying to make a hockey team. Or something like that. I haven’t actually seen the show. But the commercials promoting it look pretty lame. People (and by “people,” I really mean me) do not want to watch a bunch of average Joes playing hockey. We want bitchy catfights, drunken hot tub parties and self-centered drama queens.

Here’s my question: If CTV turned American Idol into Canadian Idol, why can’t they use the same formula to create the Canadian Bachelorette? The ratings would go through the roof.

In fact, I’ll volunteer to be Canada’s first Bachelorette. Casa Loma could serve as my bachelorette pad. Ben Mulroney would be perfect as the host, helping me whittle 25 guys down to one.

I think I would make a great Bachelorette. I’m fun, cute, smart, athletic and totally photogenic. And I’m classy -- the producers of Blind Date rejected me for their show because I told them I wouldn’t get naked in the hot tub. Ben, if you’re reading this, call me. Let’s talk.

The Greatest Canadian?

So the CBC has come up with the brilliant idea to search for the "Greatest Canadian." I tuned in to the show on Sunday night, hoping to be inspired. Instead, I watched in disbelief as DON CHERRY made the top 10! Let me repeat a key point...this is supposed to be a list of the greatest Canadians of all time. In history. Ever. So why is DON CHERRY on the list?!?

Here's the kicker: He's on the list because Canadians (tens of thousands of them) voted for him! For the life of me, I don't understand why. Don Cherry is an abrasive, obnoxious, offensive hockey commentator. How on earth does that make him a great Canadian? Not just a great Canadian, but one of the greatest! Ever!

And while I'm on the subject, why is there not one single woman in the top 10 list? Surely Nelly McLung, Roberta Bondar, Margaret Atwood (just to name a few) deserve the honour more than cantankerous Don Cherry!

I haven't completely lost faith in my fellow Canadians. At least Terry Fox and David Suzuki made the top 10 list too.